Don’t Tell Anybody That You Met Your Spouse On Social Media

rom“How would I tell my kids that I met their father on facebook?” It is a taboo. Am I confused too? Please read on to find out what happened between me and this cute lady I met online.

First off, let me tell you a story about another guy who’s currently psychologically and emotionally devastated because her mother had refused to bless her union with a very lovely  guy she met online.

Andrew and Vanessa met on a social media group of their school. Andrew wasn’t supposed to be a member of the group but was added by a faculty member-a friend. He wasn’t even in the same school and wasn’t reading same course but he was very active and made very educative contributions to a lot of issues raised in the group.

His ideas were helping a lot of the group members.

It was just an interest and he later revealed that, though he wasn’t reading economics (an engineering student), he had much interest in economics and may consider it later in his academic pursuits.

A casual comment on a photo and post sparked a conversation between them and as days went by, it became stronger. The friendship grew gradually over the months until they finally scheduled to meet at Vanessa’s school’s conference hall. It was a meeting that triggered a chain of events that I do not really know if I should term it a blessing or another trouble.

What really happened?

Well, meeting each other physically in a public place has always been advised as a wise step for a friendship that began online, if those involved wanted to take it further. This is done for security reasons because many crooks hide behind their computer screens to do evil.

Andrew was ecstatic, and so also was Vanessa. They spoke for about one and half hours and Andrew went back to his school which was at the border.

Vanessa’s mom was not comfortable with the idea that her daughter’s heartthrob was an online friend and this gradually began to generate arguments, confusion and silent debate between them until the woman decided to tell her husband-Vanessa’s father. She seemed to be confused about the whole thing as she couldn’t really define what made it bad.romance

To cut a long story short, her mother seems not to be comfortable with their daughter going ahead with a relationship she began online and has been threatening that she wouldn’t be a party to any marriage arrangements, if her daughter went ahead with it.

Her father is totally at peace with it and says he doesn’t understand why his wife was having issues with her children making friends online and even getting married with people they see online if they were good enough for them like Andrew and Vanessa.

I am yet to hear the full story of what happened in these cute guys’ lives. I hope it turns out good.

“How would I tell my kids that I met their father on Facebook?”

That was the full sentence she used, verbatim when I was chatting with her. We were talking about a lot of things and the conversation swerved into social media relationships. We just met online a couple of weeks back and had been having a cool time talking with each other.

It hasn’t been long we met but the feel and connection was good. We were already suggesting solutions to each others work problems and also assisting with understanding of other issues.

I laughed hard when she made that comment and I wanted to know if she really believed it. And in truth, she meant it. She did. And she wasn’t alone in this belief by many people that social media is a wrong place to meet people for long term relationships. In fact I have met people who claimed that the social media was a sign of the antichrist and is evil.

They have refused to join anyone and I couldn’t help but wondered how some folks reasoned. However, it’s a free world and we all are entitled to our opinions.

This belief isn’t really that social network romance is BAD in the sense, but they believe that it is not “culturally acceptable”. It is “weird and not correct”. Just like Vanessa’s mom,they cannot really say why they believe it to be wrong.

Perhaps,a culture clash or confusion.

At a point I also had seen it that way but my perception began to be altered seriously when I first thought about seriously it and also met in real time, a Facebook friend with whom I had a lot of transactions.

Before then, I had done a lot of businesses online. I had sold and also bought stuffs. In fact I still rock one of my loafers that I bought online and just last week, I got delivery of a 78$ textbook ordered from an online shop.

Some of these made me to think, “The people who sell these stuffs to me are real human beings and they are sincere. We have never met physically but I trusted them enough to give them my money”

As our conversation dragged, I asked her if she was aware that it was possible she must have met some of her facebook friends in person without really knowing they were the ones she’s been commenting on their posts or liking their pictures and typing “sexy”,”cute” etc on them? I have also imagined that if I was staying in the same city as many of my thousands of facebook, twitter,Instagram and linkdin friends, it was very possible that I see some of them regularly without recognizing them.

This is possible because many of us have thousands of friends that we don’t even care to know or chat with online. They also do not know us personally; hence they may not recognize us if we met anywhere.

Is it not also possible that we may have interacted with some of our social media friends in the public bus, train station, airplanes, football fields, churches or other social gatherings without knowing who they were?

If this is possible, then it means that those folks we meet online are real humans and not ghosts or just “Facebook, twitter, badoo, Google plus people”; they are humans before they joined Facebook, right? If they are real people online, then why wouldn’t they be real people offline?

There are millions of others who are not on any social media simply because are not interested or they aren’t tech savvy. There are also many more reasons that people do not want to join any social media.

Fact: the people on social media are real humans with flesh and blood who are there for a lot of diverse reasons. Some are there just to make new friends and chatting buddies. Some are there to look for information on whatever interests they have. Many are there for business, and this has made the social media a rich goldmine for business minded folks.

Plenty others are there to look for romance.

In fact a lot of social media platforms cater to this increasing number of people who are searching for online romance. There are a lot of dating sites and a lot of testimonies of real people finding true and lasting love on these platforms.

If you met a nice guy online and you moved your conversation offline and found out eventually that this guy was everything you ever wanted in a spouse what would you do? Would you push him away or discard the relationship because it began online?Would it make sense even to you at all?

I don’t know,though.

What if it started as an online business transaction that would be completed offline by two of you meeting at a designated physical venue where you met and the chemistry was good, you liked it because the person was simply all that you have been praying for.

Would you discard or push it over because it started online?Well the answer still remains personal to everyone.What do you think?

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